Seasoned Speech -- June 18, 2009

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt,
that you may know how you ought to answer each one.

Colossians 4:6 NKJV

Always be gracious with what you say to each other. This can be especially difficult with close friends and family. We think we can let our hair down and say whatever we want the way that makes us feel good. The truth is we should be careful how we express ourselves to our loved ones. We are not being totally truthful when we vent our emotions onto others. We are being real and even honest sometimes when we unload, but we are only sharing our perspective. We need to share our perspective like that is what it is, our perspective, not like it is the whole truth. Proverbs tells us that a fool vents all his feelings but that a wise man holds them back. (29:11) There are productive ways to express our emotions that are honest and real without blasting the other person. We can knock them off balance by the intensity of our expression or by the way our misperceptions have brought us to the wrong conclusion about them. Our careful expressions of concern, anger or whatever will bring about resolution as we season our speech. And please notice the season we are to use is salt. There’s nothing fancy about salt it just makes plain old egg-white truth more palatable. So it isn’t necessary to be clever, flatter or to be fancy, just gracious.

In our communication it is important to remember our goals. The number one goal of the Christian is to live like Jesus. The second one is to build the church by being one of the “joints” bringing supplies that will knit us together. Too often, we are defending ourselves, justifying our behaviors, trying to make a comfortable place for ourselves, etc. instead of working toward a strong expression of Christ and His body. This means before we confront others with issues we need to interrogate ourselves. Here are some questions I ask myself before correcting an heir of the kingdom: Do I have a reasonable expectation from this person? Am I bringing this issue to them because I love them or because I want to make them admit they are wrong and I am right? What is the best way to bring about true resolution and peace between us?

Don’t forget to communicate the good stuff too. Be sure and tell people what they are doing well. Be sure and thank them when they have blessed you through their ministry.

Grace To You,

Pastor Jason